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May. 21st, 2009 | 11:41 pm
location: chair
mood: heh..
music: cars


So, after a lovely, seriously LOVELY get-together last night with Mina and Alex, I feel like I have seriously gotten my life back.  As it turns out, the way that I weaned myself off of Effexor was, um, I don't know...totally reckless and dangerous, and as a result, for the past almost-two-weeks, I've been pretty much a basket case.

But you can't tell you're being a basket case when you're doing it...because you're a crazy person.  heh.

So, ordinarily, I would be too embarrassed about the whole affair to even mention it here.  I feel like my instinct would usually be to just go back on Effexor and forget I ever mentioned quitting in the first place.  Well, I'm obviously not doing that, and the reason is that I feel like it could come in handy.  If it so happens that you learn this from the diary of a pornstar, then so be it; at least you'll know.

Apparently, you really need to follow a lengthy involved process to rid yourself of an antidepressant, especially a medium-high dosage of a 'selective serotonin and norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor' (SSNRI).  I'm telling you because, even though I'm a kind of bright cookie, I'm also sort of impressionable, impatient, and self-sabotaging from time to time.  Every once and a while I'll do something potentially damaging to myself when I'm in a situation that looks like it is going exceptionally well.  It's neat.

Soooo, today I took my old dosage after a delicious breakfast (sausage, gouda, fried egg on sourdough, what!?) and all day, I really felt great.  I've wondered all day how much of my improved mood was because I had identified the [now extremely obvious] problem and how much of it was specifically due to the meds. 

This lead me to look up Effexor, and I learned something pretty magical:  Other people have Static Noodles. 

http://depression.about.com/cs/venlafaxine/a/brainshivers.htm  Turns out, people call them brain shivers, brain zaps...whatever.  Do read some of these descriptions.  The feeling is indescribable.  I have been calling it "Static Noodles in My Brain" for a while, but there are few phrases out there that make you sound like such a NUT JOB.  Although "Brain Shivers" is creepy too, but maybe that's the point.  In one of the quotes in this article, someone describes it as your brain "overshooting" and then "retreating" all in the span of "about two seconds."  And yes, that makes perfect sense to me.

hah!

Whatever, the point is - I'm going back on, getting my head straight, and eventually pursuing medical insurance.  Seriously, I'm on it.


******************

I'd just like to reiterate that my experience at Chez Firestone et Stambecco was just AWESOME.  Mina had delicious treats including homemade brownies and these little shumai things with edamame inside.  mmm.   then we sat around and purged some emotions, talked about cultural attitudes toward porn over time, drank rose, (where are the accent buttons, world?) and (seriously) talked about how much we love our fg-members.  Oh, and you know, Mina was giving me a back rub the whole time too...

indeed.

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from: anonymous
date: Jan. 28th, 2010 07:31 pm (UTC)
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God. I was on that stuff (Effexor) for a while, and it definitely did the job. But eventually the side effects became too much (I slept ALL the time) and I had to ween myself off of it. It was long, extremely difficult process.

You are not alone.

~Mr. Nice Gaius

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